This week I was re-taught the lesson of how I put God in a box. My box. The bible tells us that we don’t know the plans he has for us, HE DOES! Slowly but surely I drift farther and farther away from that truth, until he brings me back to it. Usually by force, with some dragging, rug burns, a little worse for the wear. Guys, I am one of his more bull-headed children. I wish it weren’t true but like I said before, I am prone to wander. My first problem is that I’m not self-aware enough to realize I’m wandering! I didn’t even recognize that I had put God in a box. It took a faithful friend to point it out to me. I’m so thankful for those friends who can openly rebuke me and not just flatter me. Let me tell you this story.
I’ve been stressing over our family needing an extra $500 per month. I’m not working, so that fact feels like a heavy weight on my shoulders. <–I do this to myself, the husband and kids are completely supportive of my SAHM status. I’m taking classes to gain an IT job where I can work from home and take the job with me when the military moves us again. I truly feel like this is where I should be at this season of life. Also, it’s been evident that God is using me at home right now. It’s been an enormous blessing in our family life. It’s also helped us all grow in our Christian life. Now you will see my actions contradict all that stuff I just said. Ugh.
Working is all I have known for what feels like ever. Seeing the financial need only exacerbates that desire to get back to work and now. I’d been praying for a part-time job while I finish my training. I’d applied to a bunch of places and was over qualified for most. Time after time something happened that kept me from each one. After the last one fell though I felt frustrated and discouraged. That’s when my complaining fell on my friends ears. “I don’t know what to do, we need X money and I’ve been praying that God provides me with the right job that will fit what our family needs and I know he can do it but I’m stressing because it’s not happening!”
I wish I could tell you I am more like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who said my God can and my God will, but if He doesn’t I’ll still serve him! I’m not. I’m trying, but it normally goes more like ‘I got this one Lord’ as I fall flat on my face. My friend pointed out that God has put me in this place that I’m so impatiently waiting. If he wants me to take care of my family from home right now, then he can provide for us. Why am I putting him in a box that he has to provide by giving me a job? Hasn’t he provided in other ways before? She was right! He has! I’ve had so many miracles (you can read some here) happen in my life you wouldn’t even believe me if you heard them all. It was my not knowing the plans he has for me because his thoughts are higher than mine! I was thinking I had to get this job to make that $500 per month we need, and now!
Once she helped me through that Aha moment, I opened my computer. Do you know what I found? There was an amount of money that had been owed to me in 2 places. I had just started receiving $100 per month on one. Well, the other one had a payment! After almost a year, it was starting to come in. I opened my calculator and the 2 accounts plus canceling a monthly entertainment source that he had decided to do it gave us ::drumroll:: $514 per month! Out of the blue? Coincidence? Not a chance. That’s what my God can do when I stop putting him in a box.
Now I get to stay home and take care of my family. Focus on putting my energy and time into my classwork that will , in God’s perfect timing, put us in a better financial place than any of the jobs I’d applied for. BUT if it doesn’t I will still serve my Lord. My story here is a small one of mere finances. Maybe yours is greater, a sick child a failing marriage. I don’t know your need but I do know my God is greater than any way out that you can possibly think of.
If you have been putting God in your box, I hope this will encourage you to step back and see that you serve a much bigger God than that. He deserves your unlimited faith. If you stop trying to control your life and hand it to him instead He will provide everything you need according to his riches in glory. I know this because he said so in Phil 4:19. When we get out of his way it allows him to perform miracles in our lives. It won’t make sense but it’s powerful and it’s all for His glory! He will NEVER leave you or forsake you.