I want to sit at your feet, Jesus
I decided to start my morning with a private worship session. Turned my Kari Jobe mix on you tube and sent it, loudly, through my blue tooth speaker. There I was in the kitchen, sipping coffee, loading the dishwasher, wiping down counters while singing and bouncing. Feebly attempting sign language to the lyrics. You’re allowed to laugh, thank goodness there are no cameras in my home. I laugh at myself too. But, I love worshipping God this way. Alone, able to raise my voice in praise to him. Not worrying so much about my pitch or if anyone’s looking at my hands raised. I get to meditate on the words coming out of my mouth to my Father. Maybe I’m a little weird and not everyone has kitchen praise sessions, I dunno…it’s my psalm 100!
Well, this mix was running through and ‘the more I seek you’ began to play. I’ve heard it before but not like I heard it today. Today the words resonated through me so powerfully. I started singing them louder. Then, I put it on repeat and sang it again and again. “The more I seek you, the more I find you” my morning worship session turned into my morning prayer. While I prayed these words to the Lord I just cried, pitifully. It totally overwhelmed me. I was thinking how far from sitting at His feet I’d gotten. Hoe long it had been since I felt his embrace while I prayed to him like that. My time with God had become a checklist item. Drop off kids, grocery shop, laundry, bible time, feed dogs, pick up kids.
My devotions were another chore to be done. Sometimes that meant if I had time, even. I might get caught up in what else I had to do. Or I’d justify not sitting at his feet because I did have family devotions last night, after all. Satan is really good at putting distractions in my path and I am even better at picking those distractions up. They’ll even be disguised as good-deeds because the devil is sneaky like that! Priscilla Shirer talks about that in her book Fervent. <–definitely recommend
Seek and you will find
I do have those days that I feel like I’m on point and get my chapter done, make notes and have a time of prayer. Even in those moments though, how many of them am I truly in the presence of my Savior? How often am I fervently seeking Him and expecting the Holy Spirit to overwhelm me? Often that time I spend in his word is not the only thing running through my mind. I’ve been praying for the Spirit to take over me. Break my heart for what breaks yours, Lord! It’s a scary prayer because you never know what that’s going to be for you specifically. I’d been praying it though.
I don’t want mediocre, I want to be consumed like David! My whole being longs for you – Psalm 63. What an amazing relationship to have with God that all of you LONGS for HIM! God is supposed to be at the top of my list. Above my husband. Above my children. Am I completely, overwhelmingly, consumingly in love with my Lord?
I’d heard someone say God created us and has a plan for our life. Daily. Are we asking him daily what he has for us to do or are we too busy with what we have in mind for our life. Hmmm, I know what my answer was. It made me start asking each day for the Holy Spirit to lead me to what it is that he wanted me to do today. Put the people in my path you have for me to serve in your name. Make the opportunities really apparent because I’m stubborn. Show me how you want to use me, your broken and willing vessel, to further the kingdom. Also, courage and wisdom to accomplish it. I need some of that too.
I want to sit at your feet, Jesus
While I sat listening to the lyrics again I was reminded of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. My personality is much more Martha. My tunnel vision, my anxious heart, my busy-ness takes control of my actions more times than not. It’s hard for me to be a Mary and just sit at His feet. I often don’t recognize the awe moment in the time that I get to spend with my Savior. Jesus said in John 16, it was GOOD that he goes away because then the Holy Spirit would come. It’s strange that the Holy Spirit is talked about as being better than Jesus himself being on earth. How often do we not allow ourselves to appreciate the presence of the Spirit, though. This unimaginable gift that we have in the Spirit.
We don’t have to stand in a crowd trying to hear his words, or climb a tree trying to get a glimpse of Christ. There aren’t days and days of travel to sit among a large crowd of people trying to touch his robe or ask his guidance. We have the Spirit with us always, making intercession for us to God. He is with us to guide us at all moments, comfort us. We need to be still and take in this precious time we have to spend with Christ each day. Allow the Spirit to work in our hearts and lives has become a cliché prayer at the end of our Sunday service. Let’s take the time to actually stop and the spirit in all his power to have his way in us today. “I melt in your peace, it’s overwhelming.”