I wrestled with God tonight
I wrestled with God tonight…
Actually I wrestled with God all day and I lost. First I was angry. Not your run-of-the-mill mad because somebody’s tailgating you type of angry. It was more like that, I want to go blow somebody’s house up type angry. You see, when I feel I’ve been done wrong or somebody I love has been done wrong, I tend to feel this hatefulness towards the person causing it. Have you had that thought that justice or vengeance will fix things. Maybe somehow make us feel better if we do the job of “karma”. They deserve it after all, right?
I was reminded, through several different vessels, that God’s got this
I’m still constantly amazed at how he sends the right people, at the right time, to say the right thing. It’s amazing how those people submit and let him speak through them. And if that wasn’t enough, there was that big ole rainbow in the sky. (Yea, literally a rainbow) I was forced to stare at it through my car window while I sat frozen, confused, angry and wanting to stay angry with hot tears running down my cheeks. And then my phone rings and doesn’t stop ringing, and my text messages go off and doesn’t stop going off. Finally in my frustration I look and it’s from people who have no idea what’s going on in my life at that exact moment. They were all trying to reach me, out of the blue, and give me words that I needed to hear even if I didn’t want to. He will never leave you or forsake you…he meant that one too.
Here is another post on suffering.
I was letting Satan win a battle in my life
I gave him an easy in because of my anger and my lack of faith in the fact that God has this. I’d forgotten to pray fervently. I’d prayed, sure, but casually at best. The Devil walks about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, might I say he loves families. Especially ones that love the Lord. If he can crush a family he stops so much opportunity to further the gospel.
Anyway, getting off track.
Love your enemy, easier said
For sometime now I keep having the verse in Matthew talking about loving our enemy, pop up. I shook my head I can’t tell you how many times. Oh I prayed for the enemy but I prayed they disappear, I prayed that they would get what’s coming to them by saying “God, take care of them for me”. All in complete selfishness. Until tonight.
You see, I’d forgotten that God loves them too. I’d forgotten that he wants a place in their life, in their heart. Yes, God loves them too. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that I’m just as guilty a sinner as they are and I don’t deserve grace anymore than they do. But God offers them grace just like he offers it to me and he wants them to accept it. He has a wonderful plan for my enemy just as he does for me. <—if that’s not a big pill.
So tonight I wrestled with God, I fought him at every turn. Thank goodness, He won. I ended up on my knees crying out to him for forgiveness, crying out to him for understanding and probably for the first time in my life doing something that was extremely hard for me to do! I prayed genuinely for my enemy.
His ways are higher than our ways
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
“”But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
“to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”