Why you should date your kids and date night ideas
Date nights for the kids have proven to be essential in our home. Right now I have 2 kids still living in the house. There have been up to 4 at some points and things were a little busier. I honestly loved those years of my life though. All those babies in my house made my heart full.
Need for Attention
One of the challenges to a big brood was the individual relationship with each of them. Things are fast paced in a house with that many kids and everyone seems to need something. There’s some push and pull for attention. Stepping back to observe I could always see one or two of them not getting the same time and attention as another. It would fluctuate between kids, just the normal ebb and flow of having more than one child at home.
My solution to this was to implement date nights. Each kid would get their own night of one on one time. Once a month we would have a night that I took one kid out for an hour or two. We’d rotate starting with the oldest working down to the youngest. It gave me the opportunity to have a car ride plus whatever time doing our activity to connect with each other. I’d ask questions about their life. What’s been good/bad at school. What things are they excited about happening or trying. What are they dreading. What’s going on with their friends. Anything to open the floor for them to tell me anything about their personal life,thoughts, fears and dreams.
Sometimes I’d make it a big deal date night. Once my 5-year-old told me that I had to wear a dress for our date. He opened the driver’s side door for me and told me was beautiful. Such a charmer. My daughter and I would go window shopping to try on big hats and sunglasses just to be silly and laugh together. My older son and I did movies. I actually read all of the twilight books just because he liked them. It gave us something to talk about that he was into. Then we would have date night to every opening movie that came out. We’d go at midnight and sometimes he’d sleep in and miss first period the next morning. I know, calm down teacher friends. He’s brilliant and our relationship was as important to me as him learning algebra. Some dates were as simple as going out for frozen yogurt with lots of toppings and sitting at a table to talk.
We built memories that they still remember today. Our talks made me aware of things I never would’ve learned otherwise in our busy house of 6. It was a safe, comfortable place that my babies got my undivided attention without me washing dishes or wiping noses while they talk. It was a checkpoint to make sure no ones needs were getting over looked. Dates created a place that they could tell me about the new girl/boy they liked. Or the friend at school who is struggling with their home life and depression. Date nights allowed me to show my kids how to date respectfully. How they should treat other dates/friendships and how to expect to be treated in return.
Now I only have 2 kids left in the house. We still love our date nights. I have an 8-year-old daughter and my oldest is about to turn 21! They BOTH still ask me for date nights. Creating a relationship where your grown son still want to hang out with you = priceless. All of them enjoy the attention and a night to feel like they are especially special. I hope they will always know that they are.
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